Being Thankful...Sort Of

Got home from a family filled weekend in Maryland. Another part of growing up that is weird is enjoying being around family. We had a great time, both with mom and dad's side. Saw my cousins who I havent seen in quite some time, met the new one who is too cute for words, ate A LOT, sat around at relatives houses, bars, friends houses, restaraunts etc.

Hung around the Lamiano house every night after designated family time, which is really just like going home again. Despite all the changes they have made to the house (and we have made in our lives) over the course of the last few years, the basement still looks exactly the same. It makes me feel 10 to be down there again and I like the way that feels. Nothing really makes me feel very nostalgic anymore so I cling to the things that inspire those feelings in me.

Came back this afternoon and finished Wally Lambs new book "The Hour I First Believed". It has made me very contemplative and I had planned on blogging about it, but I cant quite organize my thoughts yet. Lamb uses beautiful representation and really powerful ideaologies in his work, but he never comes across as overbearing or pretentious. He takes sophisticated thoughts and turns them around for the average reader. He is definitely worth the read, both this new one and his last two novels "I Know this Much is True" and "Shes Come Undone". Plus, this particular story was inspired by a trip to New Orleans and the idea was hatched in St. Louis Cathedral which makes it infinitely better in my mind, although the book was not about New Orleans. (It was so good that i literally devoured every page, including the acknowledgments at the end and the source list).

After, I started window shopping apartments on Craigslist and started having a mini panic attack so I stopped. I am ready to move but I wish that someone would just pick a place and a roommate for me and then magically transport all my furniture there. Is that really too much to ask? The serious looking starts after the new year. Ugh.

Anyway, I am thankful that I had such a great thanksgiving with such an amazing family. And that my family isn't as fucked up as Caleum Quirk. That I wasnt in India or at a Wal*Mart on Long Island (or anywhere else on Long Island...). Thankful that I can work during the recession and actually enjoy my job. Thankful for homemade appletinis and solo-wine nights. Thankful that 2009 is an exciting year rather than 2008 (which was really just scary and sad when it comes right down to it). I am Thankful that Bring it On is on TV right now and that being a semi-adult means that staying in on a Saturday night is okay. I am thankful for my friends but NOT thankful of all the distance between some of us. I am, however, thankful www.airfarewatchdog.com so maybe one of these days I can actually get around to visiting them. I am thankful for more than three digits in my bank account and proud of myself for making it that way. Thankful that my adult sensibilities have started to kick in, but that I still mostly feel like a kid.

Symptom #342 of being a Semi-Adult

When I spend some money on marked-down designer shwag, I start to feel guilty afterwards.

But only a "semi" adult because Mamma-bear agreed to make the purchases my early Chanukah presents.

But still, the guilt is some sign of growth, right?

It wasn't even that much money. Less than my monthly train pass (which isnt saying much, because the amount I pay to commute is a crime).

i still feel guilty. And also guilty because, (not-so) secretly- I dont have a burning desire to move out of my house anytime soon. I will, because I know theres a timestamp before I turn into a semi-loser. But damn, if I could live home forever, I probably would.

The Best Laid Plans...

I am infuriated by Britney's comeback.

Not because I don't love to bump up the volume and jam out while I am getting ready in the evening to go out. And not because I really personally think her music gets better with age. And not because her mental breakdown has been the source of many an early morning gossip reading sesh, followed by a philosophical "why britney? what went wrong?" discussion over drinks with friends.

I am infuriated because it is bad public relations.

Since the beginning of Britney's breakdown, I have been meticulously devising her comeback. Because lets face it-- we knew she was going under a long time ago but people just cant get enough of her. The public's desire for her; whether as a pop hero, a nostalgic afterthought or paparrazzi podder is insatiable. Even people who don't want to admit it want a piece of her (heh). Even my father, republican-economist-Fox-news extraordinaire knows whats happening in the life of B. Spears (albeit peripherally, but still).

During the depths of her breakdown- while she was shaving her head in a Super Cuts and walking barefoot into gas stations, crashing her cars and losing her sons and half of her money- I always had faith in the star power of B Spears. Every time she burried herself I dug deeper with my proverbial shovel, adding layers to my comeback plan that I would eventually mail off and make my millions off of (I never did get around to typing it all up until now...perhaps its my own fault).

Here's how this should have gone down: Britney gets all the crazy out of her system. Maybe one last shebang to make it count (naked in public? a porn tape perhaps? a baby from an unnamed daddy? the possibilities are endless really). Slowly she starts to fizzle out of the public eye. Maybe a picture every now and then of her supervised visits with the two trainwrecks-in-waiting. Then nothing. NOTHING for a year, maybe two. Long enough for the public to speculate what happened but long enough to heal the emotional wounds those of us who have been defending her have had to endure (i mean-- who's heart WASN'T broken after the infamous VMA performance?).

Then the comeback. First the promo starts for the interview. "Catch America's Fallen Pop Princess On 20/20 This Friday" . Picture B Spears- older, wiser, completely in shape, with all her natural hair in a white skirt-suit sitting across from Barbara Walters. She has worked with a GOOD pr team, who have rid her of that awful north Louisiana accent. She laughs, she cries, she hits her talking points flawlessly and calls her breakdown the "darkest years of her life". She talks about secret treatments. Working with the Dali Lama. Traveling on a spiritual journey to find her soul. Re-establishing her relationship with her son. We laugh, we cry. Slowly, she starts making a media comeback. Pictures of her with her kids at PTA meetings, Britney in the background at charity events, at the grocery store. A few pictures now and again in US Weekly. A couple of dazzling red carpet appearances and BAM her album drops. Older, wiser with a Madonna feel to it- reinvented, but still the same old Britney we crave.

Thats how it should have gone. Instead, they are fast tracking her to get the few decent years she has left in her out. No one is thinking about longevity here, only about the quick and dirty. Drop an album, buy her an acrylic wig and throw her on MTV in just a few short months? Has it even been a year since the end of Britney's breakdown?

I dont know about you, but it takes me a while to adjust from major life changes. It has taken me more time to get over the death of a goldfish. And while I have not had a major Britney-sized breakdown (...yet...) I can only assume that it would not be solved in a matter of months. With no rehab or intensive therapy. No one is thinking about reputation management or creating a brand. They are simultaneously murdering Britney Spears and Britney Spears (TM) just to make a quick buck. While my million dollar plan, the basis of my empire is going to waste.

With all that said, I am still going to watch the manufactured comeback of Britney. I'm just going to be mad about it the whole time.

This week was a crazy week. Work is really busy, which is great, but it makes me exhausted! I came home on Friday night and passed out at 9:30. Aren't these supposed to be the years I am living it up?  Last night we played rock band and drank wine at Melissa's, which was nice and also low-key. I don't know how I partied as hard as I did in New Orleans. It honestly feels like another life sometimes. 

On Tuesday I had dinner and drinks with Diano, which was marvelous. It is really comforting to be around people who I went to Loyola with. I miss the small sense of community that we had at Loyola. Nothing in the city is like that and it's really hard to be alone sometimes. At least at Loyola, you were never really alone. I can see why people always say NY is a hard city to live in (although I still maintain that it has nothing on D.C.....if I survived the district I feel like I can pretty much live anywhere).  Another  Loyola friend is moving here next week, which will be great as well. 

Thanksgiving is this week, which is unbelievable because I feel like its still summer. Graduating college is still so surreal. I mostly just feel like its a really long summer vacation. When I think about how long it has been since I really saw my friends and Iggy and the streetcar and my apartment it doesn't seem real. The other week Jose mentioned it had been six months since he left here and I started to tear up, mostly because I was in shock that it had actually been that long. Time is moving way too fast, but in other ways not fast enough. 

Anyway, doing to D.C. for Thanksgiving, like always. I am excited to see everyone, especially my new baby cousin. It will also be nice to break up my routine a little bit. 

Speaking of routine, I pretty much haven't moved from my bed all day because there is an "I Love Lucy" marathon on TV Land. I kind of have a girl-crush on Lucille Ball. She was such a dynamo, a force to be reckoned with. Although it may not be the most enlightened of shows (see: Ricky spanking Lucy when she does something wrong, and not in the "I've been a naughty girl" sort of way), she really paved her own way in Hollywood with her wit and business sense. Also, this show is timeless and still pretty much hilarious. Its the cherry on top of my perfect lazy Sunday (heh, get it? I am also hilarious and timeless).

This weather does not agree with me and I personally think anyone who has ever complained about New Orleans humidity should wait for the New York  train at 7 am in mid-November. Its not only the cold, its the whole winter she-bang. Its dark at 4:30. Being outside is miserable. Don't even get me started on snow. Winter also makes me much more contemplative and ready to hibernate, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

I'm going to try to be a more dedicated and interesting blogger, but every time I sit down to write something truly contemplative I end up censoring myself and forgetting about it. 

Anyway, I'm leaving you with this gem from Halloween. Which is already way too long ago, but lets not get going on that again. 

First Post!

Well Hi!

My first post and I'm already getting writers block. This is harder than it looks. A little bit about me? Well first of all, I'm on the right in that picture- in the red necklace. 

I am a recent college graduate, living on the outskirts of the biggest city in the world and working everyday right in the heart of it all. I am in public relations, but I probably won't talk about that much for a few reasons; 1. uhhh, I already talk about it/live it/breathe it for 40+ hours a week and 2. respect for my agency/clients. But, its important because I love what I do. And, if you've ever met anyone in public relations, you know we see the world much differently than everyone else. 

My job is also important because it is what inspired me to start this blog. I look at social media everyday and I admire the people who can write about their lives so eloquently and effortlessly and I guess I just wanted to be a part of it all. My life may not be the most interesting, but I'm at a confusing point in my life I think a lot of people can relate to. Sometimes I feel like an adult, with bills and responsibilities and clients and emails and deadlines. And other times, I feel like a kid in business clothes. And did I mention I feel both of these things at the same time, every single day? This growing up stuff has been a breeze until now. 

The other important stuff? Well, I went to school in New Orleans, which could be a blog in it's own right but I think that would just make me miss it even more. Yes- I was there during Katrina. Yes- I went back. No- I did not have to canoe to class. Because I went so far away for school my friends are scattered all over the nation and I plan on traveling to visit them all, someday. Until then, I will probably forlornly mention them and my city quite often. 

Like a lot of recent college grads- I moved back in with my parents which is an adventure in itself. I enjoy my family but I miss having my own space. Im planning on moving back out shortly after the new year. I read as often and everything that I can and I will most likely post about interesting things I've read, because I have no one else to talk about them with. I'll try to keep the dork talk to a minimum, but I'm not making any promises. 

This is dangerously close to sounding like some sort of dating add, so I think we'll cut it off here.