An HR memo to Spring

Dear Spring,

I know its your first day on the job and everything, and believe me, I sympathize. My first week on the job I created a media list so large I couldn’t even send it through email. Sometimes, you get a little overeager when you are trying to impress and things don’t always turn out the way you wanted. I totally get it.

However, if you don’t hear a little criticism then you’ll never learn, right? So lets try to keep the snow away, especially on your first day. Maybe you haven’t had the chance to read the manual yet, but snow on the first day of spring is really soul-sucker. It really just makes people want to drown some small animals and I don’t want to be fielding calls from PETA all day because the new guy screwed up. You’re not the only one with a job to do.

But like I said, everyone is allowed a few mistakes at the beginning. Just make sure to get your shit together by April 1, because I am moving and not taking any winter clothes with me. That’s how much faith I am putting in you, Spring. Don’t let me down.

As always, please don’t hesitate to contact me or your supervisors (God) with any questions. We’re really excited to have you on board.

Best,

The Northeast United States Human Resources Department


P.S. I have an overactive imagination and there are 3 out of 12 people in my office today. I may update again. Who knows where this day will go?

P.P.S. I may have found an apartment (I went the really small, great area route)! Details to come.